Writing, Thinking, Ranting: Liars and Thieves

Fooling the People

Pulped Fiction - destroy to create

I read a book the other day. It was a tour-de-force, a stunning debut from an inspired mind, powerful, resonant, an unforgettable and timeless classic.

I know all these things because the publisher’s marketing department told me so in the breathless plug on the back cover. Their praise was supported by extracts of critical analysis from sources as notable as the Thespian Writers’ Collective and Dare to Write (formerly Write Now, until an unfortunate legal action).

Opinions from these and other highly esteemed directions had me panting to get at it.

Dear reader, they lied.

But wait, maybe it was a printing house error. Maybe they’d just glued the wrong cover to the body text.

No, they lied. They lie often. I suspect there is a whole ghost-writing industry built up around the cover blurb scam ... er, commercial translation ... er, creative interpretation of authorial concept.

So, about this scam.

With the noble intent of marketing success firmly in mind, the massaging committee of Smoke and Mirrors Inc. meets under the chairmanship of the veteran commissioning editor, a nineteen year old business legend whose name bears an uncanny resemblance to the publishing conglomerate’s owner.

Our august committee vibrates with exhilarating debate.

The Brains Trust - commissioning editor in green

‘We’ll make a motza.’ ‘Yair, recycle that crap you ground out for dumb ol’ Dan Brown.’ ‘Punters couldn’t empty their wallets fast enough.’ ‘A lie well told is worth a thousand truths - that’s what your old man used to say, boss’ – and similar profound observations as to the integrity of the literary work at hand and the honourable profession of publishing.

But they’re clever devils, these teenage tycoons.

I’ve met some of these lovers of literature who, God's truth, really think the book had been assembled correctly; that in its pages (cover and all) there really existed the secret to life, the universe and everything; that if indeed one had to be picky, it was at least a bloody fantastic read.

And they’re right.

Revisiting this ‘brilliant’ tome (aren't they all) which had so moved me to harsh judgement, I was blessed with enlightenment. The marketing hype could have been true, of that sentence half-way down page 683. I now saw merit in the claim ‘the best thing XYZ has ever done,’ as clearly his previous outpourings left much development room.

And finally my shame was complete.

Only a crabby old pedant would imagine that the blurb was a statement of balanced fact, the assessment of an incisive and experienced critic. No. it’s a fluid world, dynamic and responsive. Yesterday's thoughts are old hat; it’s what our marketers believed then; it’s merely a critic’s suggestions. And besides, they’re all otherwise employed now.

See what I mean? Fast moving.

The modern need to read – what would I know? But, recollecting the famous quote of American satirist Ambrose Bierce, ‘the covers of this book are too far apart,’ I consigned the work of genius carefully and deliberately to the shredder.